So I’ve been hearing stories like this a lot lately. All of them differ in content, but the 2 same facts are
- She dumped YOU
- Now She’s Pissed
Very strange situation to be in, because any sort of communication seems really touchy. Nothing you say or do seems to work, and all of it just brings unsanswered questions. What should you do? What shouldn’t you do? How will she react if I do this or that, Who’s advice should I take, etc etc.
Stop!
First of all, you need to break down what’s actually happening. If you take a look at how relationships actually work, they are built on ATTRACTION. Your girlfriend went out with you in the first place because she was attracted to you. Probably somewhere along the way you probably let some of that initial spark fade. Remember when you were both really excited to be with each other? Remember when you were a little more of a mystery and she had to spend time with you to figure you out? But that may have faded as you both started hanging out all the time and getting into a routine (come over, eat some food, watch a movie, pass out, nothing new). Yeah it was nice, it felt good, but inside her mind–she may not even know it–she was getting bored. Her inner girl is screaming “AHH can’t we get somebody more FUN than this?” Have you ever heard the song “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun?” They weren’t joking. You had “comfort” but attraction faded.
Good thing is, you can spark attraction back up… Hell, you already have done it once! But you have to come at it from a new angle.
- You have to first look at the situation and realize what’s happening with a new perspective.
- Then you need to remove yourself from it and change yourself without her presence. Build up your character (and if you don’t think you can really, then FAKE IT). All you have to do is make it LOOK like you’re a new person. SEEM like you’re having fun, SEEM like you don’t care.
- Once you are sure you can fake her into being attracted to the new (or old you) then you can re-approach the situation. What this will do is set off triggers in her mind that will go against what she’s feeling now. She is currently unattracted (or emotionally torn between her commitment and history of the relationship to where it is now). When you come back the care-free, fun, attractive guy that she once knew, her perceptions will start to change. THAT, is when you will have your biggest opportunity to get your ex back.
